Giving Thanks...For Corn Free Meals

It's a hard year to be thankful, it seems.  Health care costs have skyrocketed, and making ends meet gets harder each month.
But we have amazing girls.  They're strong young women, with strong ideals.  We spent a few hours out walking, and playing at a local playground.
And then we came home to a corn free, gluten free, dairy free meal.  We all could consume almost everything on the table.  (I can't do green beans, but it's not Thanksgiving without them.  So I had to put them on the table.
What did we eat?  Well...let's see.
We roasted a chicken.  Maybe a bit too long, Mr. Violets couldn't carve it, the meat simply fell off the bones.  But it was good.
We made a mash of parsnips and carrots.  It was surprisingly good, and 3 out of 4 eaters agreed it should be made again.
We had chebe bread sticks.
Sweet potatoes, both fried into chips and cooked with a sweet apple juice/sugar and cinnamon mixture.  A small dish of the sweet version was topped with marshmallows and toasted.  Bumblebee approved.
We had green beans, too.

And there was an apple pie for dessert.  Not that there was much room for dessert, mind you.

All in all, it was a great meal...especially for all the allergies it had to accommodate.  I'm thankful that we didn't have to worry about accidentally poisoning anyone.  I'm thankful that I've stayed over a hundred pounds since April.  And I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by a loving family, that I have a husband who supports my food allergies, and that I have inherently good kids (they're not easy, but they're GOOD.)
I'm thankful that we're still making rent.  And groceries.
I'm thankful...I'm thankful that it's not impossible to eat organic on a budget.  And I'm thankful that I can go to sleep tonight and feel 90% sure that there's both going to be a tomorrow and that I'll be up for enjoying it.
I'm thankful that I can still feel thankful.  Life isn't always easy.  Especially when it comes to allergies.  But when there are family and friends to share it with, it makes things easier.

Easter Greetings

Most people don't think of Easter as a very corn filled holiday.  It's...more...carrots.  And maybe celery.  And...jellybeans. 
Actually, for most people with food allergies, Easter celebrations can be pretty safe. 
But, again, corn rears it's ugly head.  Ear?  Whatever. 
Jelly beans may generally be free of the top 8; but their rainbow appeal generally comes from a rainbow of artificial food colorings.  These are linked with behavior issues, and possibly further health problems, in some individuals. There are naturally colored jelly beans from Surf Sweets, Green Beans, and even Jelly Belly superfruits. 
Unfortunately, the above are either made with corn syrup, or the corn containing citric acid. 
Gummy candy is another perrenial favorite...Gummy bears fit just perfectly into the plastic colored eggs.  (And of course an egg laying bunny is going to hatch red and yellow bears, right?)  Surf Sweet candies, Yummy Earth candies, and Annie's Naturals all have delicious alternatives.  (Containing corn) 
Florida's Natural Nuggets taste good and fit well in the eggs...but again contain corn derivatives. 
For a corn free candy, you might have to resort to St Claire's Hard candies.  (Tasty, but not quite as seasonal) 

And then there is the chocolate bunny.  Nut warnings, dairy derivatives, even gluten show up in those mischievous iconic candies.  Alternatives may be maple sugar shapes (I haven't seen a bunny, though), chocolates bought from a premier specialty facility like Premium Chocolatiers, or chocolate chips melted to fit various candy molds available in the market place. 

The only real candy novelties safe for corn avoiders are the ones we make ourselves.  But some have gotten creative with Erewhon rice cereal and homemade marshmallows to shape krisie treats, gelatin mold eggs, and shaped chocolates. 

Of course...the best egg stuffers are non candy...Littlest Pet shop figurines, In My Pocket pets, and small vehicles will delight kids 3-7; as will mardi gras beads and other small party favors (these aren't great for the environment, though)

As an adult with the corn allergy (and parent to a dairy free, gluten free kid and 2 who avoid artificial colorings) I prefer to not worry about the sugary novelties. 
Spice cake sounds good to me; and maybe if we have a few carrots I'll grate them in for corn free carrot cake.  I'm still working on a white frosting recipe.  Powdered sugar has not been easy to find, but I'm certain there is decent frosting to be had without it.  (after all, people have been frosting cakes for generations...haven't they?) 

The kids are looking forward to egg dyeing.  Although every year I tell myself we'll find some nice, safe, all natural dyes...I got lazy (and cheap) and purchased a sponge paintng kit.  We will dye 2 dozen eggs, of the cheapest brand I find, and Mr. Violets will bring what he wants to work.  The rest will be a tragic waste of resources...but at least they'll serve a purpose in entertainment, art exploration, and decoration.  And they'll decompose quickly, a nice Earth Day bonus. 

Maybe we'll work in a short hike, or at least a trip to the park.  After all...the whole point of Easter is to welcome spring back to our lives.  And part of springtime is getting back outside.  We'll also be attempting another garden.  We've already fed a honeydew seedling to the snails in our yard, and (after putting down salt) are considering ttempting strawberry plants.  They grow well and Bumblebee enjoys them.  Maybe I'll even be able to handle a few despite the prevalence of seeds.  (Or maybe I'll puree them and strain the seeds)  At least if they're homegrown, I'll know if it was the strawberry or the 'industry standard' rinse that didn't get scrubbed off. 

The Hardest Holiday

When it comes to food related treats...Valentines day just might take the chocolate cake.
It's second only to Halloween in candy filled delights, from the dum-dums taped to classroom valentines to the red heart shaped boxes lining grocery and drug store shelves to the scrumptious recipes for sinful chocolate dipped strawberries or swirled fudgy brownies that abound in my email inbox.
The ubiquitous conversation hearts are practically as iconic as candy corn.  And twice as fun, since you get to make up silly poems on your school desk before enjoying them.
And since it's not a "big" holiday...it seems like everyone likes to go overboard.  And feels justified in passing out "just a little candy" because it's February.  What's the harm in having a little fun for a small holiday?
Nothing.  There's nothing wrong with it.  And actually, the gluten free/casein free crowd might enjoy a variety of mainstream Valentine treats...since most of the confections are simply sugar...spun in various forms and molded into a variety of shapes.  Artificially flavored and dyed pretty petroleum based colors, they aren't good for you.  But they aren't damaging intestines the way gluten might.  Or doubling you over the way casein might.
Even the chocolate dipped strawberries can be made safe.

However, when you're 8; and you can't eat artificial dyes without really going nuts, the holiday is hard.
Today there was a GREAT party with cake, strawberries and whipped cream (That Bumblebee could eat!) and then the party became "The worst ever" because the valentines were passed out.
Unfortunately, I've grown complacent.  The kids both had the flu all last week (The scary form of the flu...that had us in for chest x rays and contemplating antibiotics because that fever just wouldn't break), we're on a budget, it's a Hallmark holiday and so I didn't do much in the way of preparing.  Bad plan.
Most of Bumblebees valentines this year included something colorful and edible.  I'm proud of her for choosing not to enjoy them.  I'm sad that she was grumpy and felt left out.  The gluten free kid could eat the candy.  The nut allergy kids could eat the candy.  There were other kids who chose not to eat the candy (kids like I used to be...who just don't like suckers and chewy artificial goop) but Bumblebee felt like she was the only one who **couldn't** eat the candy.
She told me she could've and I wouldn't have known the difference.
I agreed.
But she didn't because she doesn't like how it makes her feel. 
"I want one of my candies" she told me, "And I'm going to choose to eat one unless you can give me a good reason not to!"
I opened my mouth.
"Ten good reasons!" She amended.
When I said that artificial food colors are banned from kids' food in Europe she asked why Americans let kids eat them.  Penguin interrupted with "Because they're dumb."
"Why do you have to be smart, then?" Bumblebee grouched at me.  (I corrected them both with the information that most of our society is simply uninformed.  Not dumb.) 
I started to falter around 8.  She grinned, then giggled.  Gave an exaggerated sigh at 10.

And then she enjoyed a bit of pudding cake.  (My experiment du jour...it was a success, although I thought this first incarnation might be a bit too rich)
Some will probably wonder why on earth I'm leaving something like this up to her.  Why is it such a stress?
The answer is simple.  Food dye reactions are mostly behavioral and fall in the neurological and 'intolerance' spectrum.  That means that there isn't a lot of medical backing, or reassurance.  It means she doesn't have a quantifiable reaction.  It also means that we might take calculated risks.

When it comes to true allergies, there is no gray area.  You either need to avoid the allergen, or you don't.  Penguin has distinctly debilitating (but not life threatening) reactions to gluten and dairy.  And blue dye.  There is no acceptable risk for her.  There isn't an "Ugh, oops...oh well."  If she is exposed she misses at least 24 hours...more like 48.  And she seems to feel 'bleck' for longer. If a person with an anaphylactic dairy allergy eats something with a touch of butter on it; they can stop breathing or go into cardiac arrest.  There's no room for a learning curve or experimentation. 
But Bumblebee's intolerance is in the gray zone.  If there's a way to avoid the dye, we do.  If she were to need an antibiotic that was colored, though, we could muddle through.  Calling it an "allergy" without following through with total avoidance lessens the view of allergies in general and creates a false sense of security.
So why do I leave such an important decision up to her?  Because it is her body.  And ultimately, it's her choice.  She can cheat on this "diet".  I wouldn't know the difference; except that she was exceptionally more difficult than usual.
It has to be her choice to be healthier, happier.  I'll support it one hundred percent, and if she makes good choices I'll provide safe, appropriate, and FUN alternatives.  If she chooses poorly, I won't be nearly as supportive through the recoop time.  I won't punish her, but I won't provide (expensive) alternate treats.  And I won't go to bat for her if she's going to waffle around.  It's not fair to the kids who can't cheat, who can't even take a calculated risk.  And it isn't fair to her to have rules that bend and change to fit the day's requirements.  Only she knows the best choices for herself.  So at this point, I'm letting it be harder and telling her I disapprove of her eating them but not forbidding it.  Mean, but hopefully it will strengthen her resolve in the long run. 

Meanwhile, Penguin's homemade valentines came out adorable.  She cut key shapes out of cardstock, wrote little sayings on them (which I'm not supposed to read or share) and then attached them to little heart shaped keychains.  Bumblebee taped markers to fuzzy poster valentines.  Fun, cute but not "over the top" since she doesn't like to stand out too much. 

And on the brighter side, Penguin had an awesome Valentine's day in Middle school.  Her friends gave out cutesy cards.  And since she's still recovering from the flu...she doesn't really care about the limited candy making it's way around.  She's just tickled that there was a lollipop that's safe for her.  :-)

Hassle free Holiday

This year, as you may have already guessed from my last post, was rather quiet.  I wasn't up for nearly as much energetic running around as my heart wanted me to be...and I turned most of the preparations over to the overly-excited Penguin and Bumblebee. 
They did an amazing job.  They planned and picked out the perfect gift for everyone (or so we hope...everyone seemed happy enough with their choices); they raided the wrapping stash and decorated each present with bows, ribbons and carefully chosen tags.  They created crafts to round things out, and give themselves the opportunity to give something "JUST" from them. 
We managed our annual gluten free baking experiment...a pastry crust, requested by Bumblebee, and although it wasn't what dh and I look for in a pastry crust, the kids were very happy with the resultant apple pie.  With french/dutch topping (brown sugar and cinnamon!)  We served Santa applesauce fritters (which dh was kind enough to fry up) and chocolate chip cookies. 
We skimped on the fun healthy foods, I'm afraid. 
Christmas Eve, we spent mostly at home.  My parents dropped by to drop off gifts; but we agreed to wait on opening most gifts until Christmas morning.  I just felt totally wiped out, it's hard to be social and nauseous at the same time. 
My kids were wonderful hosts, and eagerly stacked up the gifts to go; politely requesting that the "really important" ones get opened in front of them...and received the 'ooohs' and 'ahhs' that were due. 
After dark, we all bundled up and tumbled into the car to tour the highlighted Christmas light displays in our local vicinity.  We only went out for about 20 minutes, and only got out of the car once, but it was a nice way to settle in for the evening. 
The kids did stay up WAY too late.  I'm surprised Santa managed to come at all.  When I got up for a drink of water at midnight, Bumblebee startled me in the kitchen...convinced she was about to face the big guy himself! 
Somehow, though, he managed...because early Christmas morning, Penguin gently shook me awake and asked if it was time...and once she'd convinced Bumblebee and Mr. Violets to awaken as well, we slipped out to the living room to find our stockings filled with goodies, the cookies half eaten, and two brand new scooters.  Bumblebee examined hers to find it decorated with a fairy and a reference to her beloved WF.  (WF stands for Weird Fairies.  A comic strip she has created specifically to help counter the uber-popular Disney fairies.  She loves Tinkerbell...and hates that everyone else likes her to.  Bumblebee and her friends do NOT want to get lost in the crowd.)  "Santa is Awesome!" she declared. 
Of course, there followed the requisite first ride...still in pajamas!  :-)  And a few pictures for the scrapbook...although I'm not posting pj pics of my kids online.  Sorry. 
We had a very nice, laid back morning...although I did follow it with a nap...and managed to get to my in laws for a small gift exchange in the early afternoon.  Again, the kids were proud to distribute their chosen presents...and excited to hear that they'd made great choices. 
I slipped out and went back home for another nap soon after the last of the wrapping paper was stuffed into the recycle bin.  I'm not sure why I want to nap so much, but I sleep like the dead so I must be needing it. 
As I tucked the kids into bed that night, they were happy and smiley.  Although they did have one regret...Thank you notes might be a little more difficult this year, because instead of being focused on what they got from who, they were so excited about giving and worried about what their recipients thought of the wrapping and the present inside that they completely forgot to get wrapped up in the 'getting' part. 
Penguin felt that she was gifted some of the best toys EVER.  (And the amount of time she's spent actually playing with toys the past 2 days seems to support that theory)  But, she also confessed that she forgot to pay as much attention to who they were from. 
"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" she asked with a worried frown, "It's like I was more interested in giving than in what I was in getting." 
I told her that meant there was something very right. 

Missing the holiday spirit...

Last night, as I lay in bed trying to discern the reason I'm not quite into the holidays this year, it came to me.  Although, I've felt worse some years...and been mid diagnosis some years...I've fought hard to get out,  get baking, to grasp the little things and play them up.  This year, we have our gifts together and the tree up, the elf is finding new spots to hide, the kids are giddy with excitement...and yet the baking isn't even done yet.
Every time I think of it, the nausea is still too much.
And I feel down.  Really down.
As I lamented to my husband the lack of excitement, and that all I really want to do is curl up and enjoy the days with him and the girls, it occurred to me that my lack of social graces is mostly inspired by...shame.  After 10 years...I have a diagnosis.  I'm intolerant of or allergic to corn.  I have Celiac Disease.  And the two conditions have triggered multiple other identified intolerances.  I've just been treated for H pylori.
I should feel great, right?
I'm exhausted.  I'm sleeping more often than a 3 month old.  My abdominal region feels crushed, bruised.  I'm desperately trying to eat enough to keep the scale from dipping under 90 lbs.  And at my last dr appt, the dr flitted her eyes around the room, then shrugged and buried her nose in the notepad in front of her, not even writing...just tapping. 
That tapping, the not meeting my eyes, the little frown...the shrug and release to a dr I've never met who can't see me for a month...not reassuring.  There's a diagnosis missing. 

In the past, by Christmas, I've been optimistic.  I've thought I had the answers I needed, and believed I was on the mend.  I could answer questions positively and clearly, or simply evade them by pretending I wasn't that bad.  This year, I'm lighter than I've been in at least 5 years.  I can't stop bleeding, and I'm not buying perimenopause 'nothing to worry about, just be patient'.  The nausea and cramping are really bringing me down.  I'm not playing poor me...I'm trying to simply state the facts.
I'm also worried about my daughter who has developed trichotillomania, or the urge to pluck out her eyelashes methodically.  I know this is the right diagnosis, although so far my attempts to get her help have not really led anywhere other than "Tell her to stop!"  Which, of course, I've tried.  :P
While I love hanging out with family, and I would love to have a get together, or attend one, I've felt up to either for a full...oh, five?  Fifteen?  minutes at a time over the course of the past 3 months.  I'm really hesitant to make plans because of how bad it makes me feel to leave early or change my mind last minute.  I'm haunted by memories of discomfort and reactions.  I'm withdrawing from questions because I have no answers.  And I'm avoiding...because I'm finding that after years of this whole sick-at-the-last-minute business, even those I love are starting to think I'm choosing others first.  When the truth is, I'm embarrassed that I'm still sick, that my stomach is threatening (and I'm now aware that I'm the only one fighting to keep her digestion under control), that I don't have answers and am starting to give up finding any.
(I didn't say that I'm giving up.  I'm saying that I'm starting to give up hope of finding answers.  There's a huge difference, as I found myself trying to explain to my husband.)

In past years, I've daydreamed about hosting parties.  I've enjoyed getting together, if only for an hour, with loved ones and family.  I've told myself that this will happen, someday, when I'm better.
This year, I'm not so sure. 
My goals for the new year are to get the house clean again, to get food under control, to get help from the medical community.
Humble enterprises.
I thought by now I'd be farther in my journey.  It's hard to admit to myself that what I thought was the bigger picture is only a few puzzle pieces.  And I'm wondering if the missing diagnosis could possibly explain both the food reactions and the menstrual irregularities. 
I suppose you could say that I don't want to ruin anyone else's holiday with my own frustration and shrugged shoulders.  I'm disappointed that the answers gained over the past few years simply aren't quite good enough, and I'm ashamed of where my limitations have led me, and uncertain what lies ahead.
 So this year, while I'm thinking of family and friends...I'm going to be happy that they are celebrating.  I'm sending best wishes.  And I'm hoping that they understand why I'm playing the Christmas Card friend (which reminds me...I never did get Christmas cards mailed...make that a 'New Years card friend') instead of a hostess.  I'm going to focus on what I am up to instead of worrying about appearances and what I'm not up to. 
And I'm going to try really hard not to feel guilty about it.  It's the holidays, and even if I'm still climbing my way back up from my last reaction and the bout with H Pylori, and still seeking answers, I'm going to salvage what I can...even if it means sacrificing what I wish I were doing.  I'm going to enjoy Christmas, regardless of the social aspect...or lack thereof.  And in the new year, I will find healing, and strength.  And maybe we can get together 'just because', and celebrate friendships and family without the stress of holidays as an excuse. 
If there are other readers struggling to find missing pieces and feeling discouraged, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.  Let's band together online, and embrace our strengths...accept our weaknesses...and just enjoy the day. 
Happy Holidays. 

Halloween Horrors

It's that time of year, again.  My sewing machine has been singing, cloth snippets sprinkle the floor, and everyone checks clothes piles for pins before snatching them off the sofa or lounging over them.  (A nasty habit I discourage, growl about, snap over yet never quite manage to eradicate) 
Costumes have taken shape.  Plans are made to decorate the front yard (although I'm not so sure the cobwebs will make it out...) and the excitement surrounding trick or treating is beginning to build.
School parties are also being planned, and the buzz on all the parenting with food allergy boards centers on the challenge of preparing appealing treats that the kids will enjoy.

Unfortunately, although we've all read and raved over "The Unhealthy Truth", I see that it just hasn't been taken to heart by many.
In the face of adversity...and potential tears or disappointment...the worst in us comes out.  Parents who spring for organic milk, hormone free meat, and all natural juice are stocking their cupboards with vibrant sprinkles, frighteningly neon chewy candies, bright lollipops and other chemical experiments. Favorite ghoul goodies of the year include crispy rice treats, made with marshmallows (corn syrup, blue dye and powdered sugar), crisped rice cereal, margarine and lots of sugar, colored with bottled coloring or decorated with canned frosting (more corn syrup and several preservatives and artificial flavoring compounds) and food coloring gels; clear cups filled with artificially vibrant colors of gelatin decorated to look like monster heads, and of course homemade cookies and cupcakes with monstrous amounts of tinted icing.
These goodies can be made without gluten, or dairy, or nuts.  They are free of the top 8 allergens and sometimes even a few more.  They can delight kids who eat the evil eight on a daily basis, while allowing our own necessarily deprived kids feel like one of the bunch.
It's lonely having allergies that preclude even those decorations.  Although, I'm happy for the excited parents and the smiling recipients.  
Unfortunately, I can't help but wonder what the long term trade off is.
Artificial colors trigger major migraines in my oldest.  Studies show that they cause hyperactive activity in children not diagnosed with ADHD.  They are a neurological stimulant.  And certain ones are linked to cancer in laboratory animals. 
And they don't even have any redeeming nutritional flavor.  And, as petrochemicals derived from coal tar, they're bad for the environment to boot. 

Halloween isn't just a once a year, rare treat excuse for a food fest.  It's the gateway to 3 months full of food related activities.  As we finish off the Trick or Treat leftovers, we'll start in on Friendship Feasts, winter wonderlands, and ending with Valentines.  Then a short break before spring and summer parties.  More sugar, more food coloring to cover the absence of allergens.
As we drift farther into the year away from 'candy day' we tell ourselves that we're cutting back.  But in reality, Halloween is the setback day.  We make an allowance for this one "special day" of sugar and sweet poisons, then we simply spend the next several months making less bad choices, remembering how much junk we sent coursing through our brains and intestines to celebrate the spirits...and congratulate ourselves on comparative restraint.
My kids know that food colorings aren't a special treat.  They'll be not only content, but giddy over a few chocolate bars and some Yummy Earth Lollipops, supplemented with silly bandz. 
Of course, they are blessed with an immediate reaction.  They can look at a confection and weigh it's tantalizing taste with tonight's pain, and although I recognize the maturity involved it breaks my heart to see them struggle.  
Unfortunately, this is the time of year when dye triggered reactions or 'allergies' are the loneliest.  As I bond with other food allergy moms, I'm still the odd man out...but even if I COULD give my kids that stuff, I like to think I wouldn't want to.  I realize that it would be a slippery slope, one I'm glad not to have to navigate. 
Meanwhile, we'll enjoy the finer points of Halloween.  The harvest festivals, the scarecrows and pumpkin carving, the costumes and spooky decorations.  We'll bake cookies, and squash, and put away the air conditioner.  We'll turn on the porch light and sip cocoa.  And the kids will tumble into bed, having survived the toughest food allergy holiday of the year. 

Planning a Gluten Free Birthday Party

It's that time of year again.  The crazies set in, and on top of all the science experiments, girl scout cookies, homework, classes, and "finally, the big holidays are over, let's put as much focus as we can on the little ones" projects...we have two birthdays to celebrate!

With food allergies and chronic health woes, the birthday parties are more challenging than one might suspect!  Once upon a time, we started birthday talk with "What will we serve?"  We dreamt of cake, we agonized over appetizers.  Now...the food aspect can quickly overwhelm us.  What will we serve?  What will the guests be willing to eat?  How will it taste?  How much will it cost?  Do we dare even try to feed them?  (And should we warn them about the grapeseed oil and tapioca starch?)

Nevermind all that.  We've found a much better approach.  The kids have informed me that they hate the food aspect of parties.  They never even liked "real" cake that much anyways, and even though it makes their friends crazy, their friends don't care much about cake they only expect it because cake and birthday parties are synonymous.  With that in mind, we now start our plans with a theme.  This year, Bumblebee chose a garden theme.  Of course, her birthday's in March and one year it threatened to snow for the first time in over 20 years...so this was just another excuse for us to pull out the creativity caps and plan a birthday party to remember!
The first step is to design invitations.  She wanted to hand out invitations this year, instead of just emailing them.  So we pulled out my scrapbooking papers, and traced out hexagons, added petals and cut them out.  She wrote the party details on each petal, with a big "It's a Party!" in the middle, and we folded the petals down to a pretty flower packet.
We started the party with a craft.  She didn't like the planters we found in our price range, and the birdhouse kits didn't look very practical.  But she fell in love with the little "Everything Grows with Love" signs, and then I stumbled on some bug themed magnets on clearance at Target.  Cost: $6 for 2 crafts for a dozen kids.  (Plus extra glue and paintbrushes)
After crafts, it was time to really get the kids excited.  Besides, our favorite part of any birthday party we throw is the treasure hunt.  (and who doesn't like hidden treasure?)  I told the girls that I'd invited a garden fairy to give them some treasures, but she couldn't be found.  She'd left a note leading them to the first clue...which was another note.  All in all, there were 12 clues...leading them around the house and neighborhood in search of Gardenia.  The final note apologized for missing them, but there was a fairy emergency and told them that the treasure could be found in the rose garden.  Since it hadn't been there earlier in the hunt...it had a nice, magical touch.  The treasure was a little gardening kit and jumprope, and this was the big party expenditure.  (Actually, it was again quite inexpensive...I believe the treasure cost was around $16 total.)
The hunt left everyone starving.  The food was definitely not your classic party fare, but we had planned a little carrot patch out of hummus dip which was deemed adorable and although the kids didn't eat much hummus, the carrots and even a few heads of broccoli vanished.  We also put out some sunny orange slices and apple wedges, which disappeared in a hurry.
The highlight, of course, was the cake.  Instead of a "regular" cake, Bumblebee designed little loaf cakes frosted with chocolate glaze and decorated with lollipop flowers, a pinwheel and a dye free gummy worm.  The cakes were a little well done around the edges, and denser than the kids were used to.  But there were no complaints...and the gummy worms won lots of brownie points (Thank you surfsweets!)
At this point the kids were good to go, and would have been perfectly happy to be set loose in the yard for the last 15 minutes or so.  However, Bumblebee had wanted to play a few games so we rallied the guests. First, we played Pass The Flower, which consists of kids sitting in a circle and passing a fabric flower to the sound of Disney tunes.  The person left holding the flower when the music stops is "out". 
Then we played a unique party game that we called "Seed, sun, flower"  We chose a caller (birthday Bumblebee) and she called commands.  On Seed, they crouched; on Sun the stretched like a flower to the sun and on "Flower" they hopped as if being picked.  This seemed to be the favorite, and half the guests wanted to keep playing when I suggested that they take the jumpropes outside if they wanted any outside time before parents arrived.

The best news is the kids were all dragged away protesting.  The sign of a truly successful party: no one wants to go home! 

Happy New Years!

It's that time again.
Another year has been and gone.  Time to reflect upon the lessons from the past, and contemplate the future.

2009 was Mr. Violet's first full year working away from retail and he loves it.  But his job is still influenced greatly by economic spending so we enter 2010 with a certain degree of uncertainty.  We also get new health insurance, which means brand new doctors.  A potentially mixed blessing, given our palette of  health concerns and informed choices.

Penguin graduated Elementary school, and is growing into a lovely tween (even if I do say so as her mother.)  So far, I'm liking choices she makes and the reasons she makes them.  Although sometimes she also leaves me utterly baffled.  I'm told that tweens are notorious for befuddling their parents.

Bumblebee gave up food dyes.  Not sure what the greater impact of this decision is yet, but I don't really want petrochemicals in her body regardless of their obvious effects.

And me?  I'm hanging in there.  One New Years Resolution will have to be to get my gut back under control, since for the last several months it seems more like it's dictating plans rather than occasionally reminding me it's there.  (The new doctors, fresh outlook, thing might help that.  I'm planning to keep an open mind.)

As a family, we're doing good.  Last year's resolutions went well.
Although we didn't find 3 full meals that we ALL can and will eat, we did find time to sit together as a family several times a week.  Lots of meals that will feed 3, and the fourth will either eat what's safe, or get a snack afterward.  We're eating too much rice.  But, well, at least it has fiber. 
I've read more this year, although I didn't quite make it through the alphabet.  I read multiple books in each letter I covered...surely that counts for something?  I'm looking forward to continuing the reading in the new year...especially nonfiction. And the girls talked me into starting a reading blog, which we'll hopefully update in the new year.
I didn't gain the weight I need to.  The summer-long stomach flu didn't help.   But I did reintroduce chicken, tuna, wasabi, and nutmeg to the dietary repertoire.  In fact, we've tried a new food every other month, failing only soy and raw stuff.  :) 
Our spending has been much more thoughtful.  Not that we were ever big on buying throw away toys, but it does get challenging when birthdays come to balance fun affordability with environmentally responsible options.  (We use real plates, our trash can is rarely overflowing on trash day, but we've room for improvement.  Party favors are tempting, even if they'll only last ten minutes.)

We do have some resolutions for the new year.  Well, we've been working on them for awhile.  The calendar change gives us good motivation to stop talking and act.

• The most important, I think, is the only one I'll share.  This will involve less chocolate, more meal planning.  Set in stone: Every weekend we'll make a platter of cut fruit or veggies for after school snacks and to add a handful of to lunches.  It won't last the week, but it'll get more easily available nutrients into the kids and dh.  (I'll strive to eat something nourishing, and not pine for the raw stuff I can't digest.)  It will also involve more walks.  Hopefully once a week, at least.  Depending on Penguin's migraines and Mr. Violet's knee, of course.  This may be good motivation to resurrect our park parades.  Or maybe just walk around the block now and again.  

It's beginning to look a lot like...

After begging, pleading, beguiling, and wheedling, Ms, Bumblebee has gotten her wish.  We set up our Christmas tree, decorated it and have begun tucking little remembrances underneath of it.

I've been reading a lot about the evils of plastic, paint, and outdated chemicals (Not to mention the questionable current ones) lately,  So as we pulled out dusty boxes and started our decorating process, my thoughts slid from logistics and Christmas carols to lead paint and BPA.

I let my mind wander to the ongoing debate of a green Christmas.  Which is more environmentally friendly?  A fake tree, or a "real" pine tree?  When a living one just isn't feasible, anyways?

Most arguments seem to surround the length of usable time we get out of the average artificial tree.  I've seen estimates ranging from 3 to 10 years.  And since plastics take forever (yes, forever...I'm not hyperbolizing.)   to break down in landfills, often ending up in a huge plastic island in the middle of the ocean, the cost just doesn't seem worth the benefit.  However...it takes nearly as long for a tree to grow.  Even under the best of responsible farming practices. 

There are also allergies, bugs, sap, etc to contend with.  Not to mention potential pesticides and other treatments used on affordable trees.

My tree is artificial.  It's also not entirely plastic, and probably covered in lead based paint.  You see, it once belonged to my grandparents, circa the late 60's.  Well before I was born (and no, it's not glittery or pink.  It may have been crafted before technicolor trees were in vogue, I'm not actually sure.  The box itself disintegrated and the instructions have long since vanished.  But it's faux pine, intended to look realistic.)  When my parents moved, their lovely tall tree no longer fit in the living room.  They had to choose between cutting a hole in the ceiling, and replacing the Christmas tree. The ceiling won, their tree went to my Grandpa's church and my Grandma's old tree went into my parent's living room.  I have fond memories of helping my dad sort through multicolored branch tips as we spread everything out in the living room and crawled around trying to remember which color came first.  Eventually my parents tired of the stress, and we tried chopping our own, or shopping at a corner lot, but I still vividly remember "our" tree.

So when I had kids, and decided it was time for a full sized tree on a pint sized budget, I called up my parents and asked if they happened to still have the pieces in their garage.

"You don't want that old thing," they said.
But I did.

And now it just wouldn't be Christmas without a tangle of branches to ease into pre-drilled holes, a tumble of "fuzzies" to hide the wooden dowel trunk (Does anyone know how I can replace these?  We seem to lose a few every year)  and the kids teetering between "The tree, the tree!" and "I don't think it's going to work, Mommy..." and "It's looking right!  It's looking right!"

My tree is artificial.  Putting it up might be a hassle, and taking it down twice as bad, but in the end, it's our tradition.  We'll keep it in our garage, instead of the landfill, lead based paint and all.  We'll wash our hands, and avoid chewing on fake pine needles. If I were to stop using it, it would stop being "green" and end up in a landfill.

So we'll sit in front of the twinkling lights, letting our thoughts go.  And enjoy our "real" tree.

(And before anyone mentions it's bedraggled state, once it's decorated, I get plenty of comments on it looking real!)

Holidays, food and allergies

It's that time of year again. The dreaded, *ahem* I mean Much Anticipated holidays. Complete with holiday parties, potlucks, cookie exchanges, and other winter celebrations.

Every one of them seem to involve food.

And again, support boards are filling with questions. They run along the lines of "I want to make this particular kind of recipe for my child's class/neighbor/church group. But, we have a very strict no (insert allergen list here) because so and so has a severe allergy. I really want to include so and so. Will this be safe?" Sometimes there are addendums about overprotective parents. Sometimes there are addendums about being knowledgeable because of personal experience. But it all boils down to the exact same firm answer.

Maybe.

First things first: Don't assume that someone is overprotective or overcautious. Only the intolerant individual (or their parents) really know the extent of their personal risk. And if you've ever seen an anaphylactic reaction, especially in a young child, you will do anything at all to prevent it. (From banning peanut butter to chopping down walnut orchards.) Worst case scenario in the case of anaphylactic allergies really is death. It may not be likely to happen, but it certainly spoils the holidays for the unlucky few. And for those who simply experience food "intolerances", shall we say that some believe in fates worse than death and leave it at that? Their holidays might not be much fun even if they DO survive buttered muffin tins.

The point I'm trying to make is that even if you do go the extra mile to ensure that your food offering is safe, accept the possibility that the recipient will still politely decline it. After all, they are the ones who will deal with any consequences.

The less severe the potential reaction is, the more likely a person is to risk "other people's food". Especially in classrooms. (everyone wants to feed kids sugary treats.) And the younger the kids, the more important the difference is.

Before going the extra mile, it's important to know how "allergic" the potential reactor is. There are 3 general levels of food avoiders. Level 1...Will break out in hives and need benedryl if someone opens a jar of peanut butter in the same building. (Okay, I'm exaggerating. A lot. But Level 1 has a severe allergy, and will not be allowed to eat your cookies no matter how safe you think your kitchen is. Mom will need to actually supervise any food prep. Bring fruit if you really want them to be safe, unless they're anaphylactic to it, too.) Level 2 has an allergy, may carry an epi, but can tolerate low levels of cross contamination. This means they might eat a box of crackers that carries the statement "Made in a facility that also processes: XYZ" but can't eat a cracker off the same platter that has cheese slices on it, even if the cheese slices aren't touching. Level 3 is the tricky gray area of intolerance and potential allergens. Usually these parents have been advised to avoid the offending foods for a variety of reasons, and left to decide how cautious they need to be. Some will make exceptions for special occasions and deal with the ensuing reactions. Others will be super vigilant. Most will permit food that doesn't contain the allergen (or obviously contain the allergen)

The best thing you can do is talk to the parent or the sufferer ahead of time. Ask what their comfort zone is, and see if you both are comfortable accomodating their needs. Of course, this isn't always feasible, and sometimes you get vague answers. Hopefully the vague answers will lead you to an approximate reaction level (1, 2 or 3) and you can proceed with the following in mind.

For a level 1 reactor, make sure to avoid their allergen in the actual food product, bring recipe or product labels just in case, but make your peace wit the fact that the kid in question probably will skip it. Your part is to avoid putting them in the hospital just by being in the same room.

For a level 2 reactor, start with safe ingredients (preferably from a new package, since it's easy to cross things like flour and sugar by using the same measuring cup) And make sure your tools are all doubly clean. Avoid wooden spoons, which have deep crevices that may not grow bacteria but certainly make good hiding places for allergenic substances. Keep all of the potential allergens covered and put away during the prep process. (In other words, don't let your husband scramble eggs while you're carefully preparing eggless cupcake mix. The chances of cross contamination are slight, but they disappear when the eggs stay in their shell.) Think out each step of the process. It won't do to grease the pans with an allergen after you've carefully avoided it. Consider decorations, too. Powdered sugar can have wheat or cornstarch. Sprinkles, chocolate chips, frosting...all have potential red flags. Bring ingredient lists with you. Cut them out or take a picture with your phone/digital camera just in case there are questions later.

For a level 3 reactor...you can relax. Read ingredients. Bring labels if you can, and try to remember brand names. But don't gnaw your nails off worrying about the cup of milk your son was sipping as he watched you whip up those top 8 free brownies. Knowing your kitchen isn't allergy friendly, but that the brownies are (and having the ingredient list) is all the level 3 person needs to make a decision. (I wish we were all level 3's)

Of course, the best thing you can do for allergy families is take the focus off of food. Bring stickers, boxes of crayons, or junk jewelry. Or jump on the healthy food bandwagon and look for healthy alternatives. Fruit skewers, veggie platters, meat and cheese platters will all help to avoid the mystery ingredient issues and they lower everyone's stress levels. No one worries if veggie trays will crumble without the egg, if fruit skewers will taste wrong without real butter, or if the crackers will fall in the middle. There's also the benefit of having "real" food available. Most kids are too excited to eat before parties...but will happily devour anything that ends up on their plate and looks appealing. Even if it's healthy. And when you've had 4 other class parties in the past week, anything that isn't covered in frosting will appeal to all the parents.

Everyone wants their goodies to get rave reviews. Everyone wants to be "That Mom". They want to provide the eye popping experience, the awesome dish that gets raved about for weeks to come. But food really does add stress to the lives of allergy sufferers in ways that "normal" people can't imagine. Kids have to be trusted to have willpower beyond their ears. Adults have to walk a fine line between precaution and courtesy. And everyone wants to sit back and enjoy the holidays.

So if you really want to do something nice for someone with allergies...relax. Make your favorite signature dish, taking reasonable precautions. Give details of the ingredients in minute detail. (Even cooking spray has potential allergens) And then turn a blind eye to those who choose not to partake. They aren't trying to spite you. And they are just trying to enjoy the holidays as much as you.

Maybe it would help if we think of it this way. Allergy sufferers aren't just trying to avoid a nasty reaction. They're also protecting the baker from the guilt of causing one, and the other guests from witnessing it.

As Halloween approaches, a reason to be Thankful...

Halloween is always tough around here.
For oldest, no dye, no dairy, no gluten. Not much sense in trick or treating!
For youngest, it used to be no nuts, but this year it's no dye (and she passed the peanut challenge! Yay! Although she claims they still smell disgusting.)
Really, there aren't all THAT many options out there.

Of course, the kids made do. And adore our yearly ritual of sorting out the candy into safe piles, and then into piles by type. Then we trade in the junk for safe candy and cheap part favors. This year, they even want to use it in experiments. (As in, how long does it take a skittle to dissolve? An M&M? Jolly Rancher?)

We even have a yearly outing to a local zoo, where various local businesses set up stations and give out non-candy items. (Flower seeds are always a big hit, and they actively seek out the Apple Juice booth. No candy, please, just the juice!)

Anyways, despite the fun it's still hard to go to school and see kids gorge on multicolored confections on the beloved sugar fest we call "Halloween". We know in our heads that junk food tastes good to your tongue, and real food tastes good to your tummy, but in practice, it's hard to pass up sprinkles and gummies and frosting. (even if you have your own delicious treat waiting.)

My oldest even watched a woman bribing her son with skittles in the library, "Just be good. Here, what color? Any color. Good boy. Now be good. Fine, another color. Any color. Come on, yummy. Choose a color. Now be good, stay with...No, come back, fine. Look. Candy! Yummy!" And thanked me for not being that kind of mom. (Thankfully, not many of us are. The kid wasn't even misbehaving, just looking at the books on the shelf.)

But when 'everyone else' is eating something that looks good, smells good, and you know tastes good; and they keep tempting you to just take a tiny taste; it's hard to say no. And it's hard to watch your kids struggle with that self control. Self control that many adults have failed to master. (Just ask anyone whose ever tried a fad diet how often they cheated.)

However, there is a reason to be grateful for forced moderation. British studies show that kids who eat an excess of sugar in their formative years actually may be at increased risk for arrest due to violent crimes. Of course, the next question is why those kids ate so many sweets to begin with. Was it a parenting issue? A chemical imbalance? Were the sweets a cause or a symptom? And was it sugar itself or the rise in the use of petrochemicals in sweets over the past 20 or 30 years? (This is purely my speculation, but clearly an avenue investigators will have to explore further, as you can see in the article.)

At any rate, maybe it will be easier to ignore those naysayers who 'tsk, tsk" and tell me that my poor kids are so terribly deprived. Not only are they missing out on sugar highs, migraines, stomach aches and mood swings, their risk of acquiring a violent criminal record is dropping.

Maybe we should celebrate.
Candy, anyone?

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

Despite my aforementioned physical issues at the moment, I did want to include a happy post today.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas! Baking has rejoined our Christmas routine, and there is just something about my youngest helping me in the kitchen that makes things brighter. She takes great pleasure out of baking, and the stress involved is generally worth it.

Our latest creation is sugar cookies. We took a regular recipe, adapted it to suit our needs (with oil and rice flours), chilled it and broke out the cutting board and rolling pin. This was my first time using this rolling pin...bought brand new so that I could have the pleasure of baking again, but I haven't been motivated enough. (See, I'm not really depressed...)

I warned her in advance that new recipes don't usually come out that great the first time. That there would be some tweaking involved. That she should not dissolve into tears or throw anything if it wasn't working out the way she imagined. I shot my oldest a "look" and informed her that gluten cut out cookies are just as frustrating, the only difference being that "normal" flour has many more experimenters and is, well, a lot cheaper to fail with!

She huffed at me. My youngest opened her eyes very wide, nodded solemnly and promised not to get upset if we could only experiment. And we did!!!!They're just as nummy as they look...even better; since they don't hurt my tummy and my husband claims they're better than regular sugar cookies. (With the caveat that he only eats regular sugar cookies because the snickerdoodles or oatmeal ones are gone.) We did lose a few angels to pan-sticking and other breakage...but I was very impressed and walking-on-air happy. You might need to try a few gluten free, er, "goodies" to fully appreciate the sensation.

Now, if only they'd lasted long enough to decorate with mini chocolate chips...Or, something else uncorny...

Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving was far from stressful.

We decided to ignore the fact that we live near virtually all of our family, ignore our friends and just relax (Sorry guys!). I didn't have to worry about timing dinner, or about how it would taste to tastebuds other than our own. The house didn't have to be spotless. And we didn't have to go sit on anyone else's couch and pray that gluten crumbs avoided our safe dishes :P

It's funny how large a part food really plays in our life.

We had a relaxed morning, other than the fighting kids. (She's looking at me! "She looked at me first!" But, Mommy, I was just looking like this, not like THIS!) We quickly dragged those fussbudgets out on a Playground parade, but that's a different blog. Found a new letterbox, planted by a new letterboxing family. A new cool park, near a generic but fun one.

The unique excitement of the day was when we spotted 3 turkeys (or were they vultures?) eating an opossum by the side of the road.

Not the kind of thing you see very often in CA! Well, in our urban-esque neck of the woods, anyways. Opossums are in zoos. So are vultures. Turkeys live on farms and sometimes in Disneyland.

Our home cooked meal consisted of a mess of Sweet Potatoes peeled, chopped and roasted with onions and a bit of oil. Another attempt at stuffing (It's getting closer all the time!) Some Green Beans with margarine for the girls and turkey breast for the husband. Oldest ate a bit and said it was good...but not good enough to give up being vegetarian. (Whatever that means, she did choose to eat turkey...) I scrambled a few eggs for my own protein source, and told youngest she had to stare at the turkey on the table real hard, and look at my eggs without screaming. In exchange, she didn't even have to put it on her plate. I'm just grateful she tasted the sweet potatoes and stuffing. And gobbled down her green beans.

Dessert was pumpkin pie-scicles (courtesy of an adapted Family Fun recipe...the kids want more sugar and spice next time) and apple slices baked in chebe bread pockets. Wow! It was a veritable feast!

Now that it's over, we're left counting our blessings.
Like my youngest, I'm grateful for trees, and air.
Like my oldest, I'm grateful for allergy free food, and for the Warrior's series of books (or at least, that she's actually finishing books)

I'm also grateful that we have a roof over our heads.
I'm grateful for the nights the kids spend asleep in their own beds.
I'm thankful for dh's new job (and that for many months, our biggest worry was simply getting a new job.)
I'm thankful for my husband, even when I'm mad at him.
I'm thankful for my kids, even when I threaten to sell them to the gypsies.
I'm thankful for the few precious moments I steal to myself at bedtime, soaking in a warm hot bath. And I'm thankful for the voices that shatter my peace (although I'd rather they stayed in bed, quietly)
I'm thankful we have toys to strew across the floor, and that the kids still want us parents to play, too.
I'm thankful for the mornings I wake up with an elbow in my eye and pins and needles in my leg from a child draping themselves uncomfortably over me in the night.

As hard as it gets sometimes, the rough spots remind us how good the good can be.
The past year or so has been filled with a lot of hurt, and I'm grateful for that too. Because now I can see the light that lays ahead.

If you're reading this, may your holiday season and all your days be filled with light and blessings.