It occurs to me that I never got around to finishing my "Thanksgiving" post. And it's not terribly coherent, or even that relevant a week later.
But I'm still grateful. And I've a lot to be Thankful for, any day of the year.
Wednesday of this week ushered in the first night of Hanukkah. Bumblebee had a small meltdown over not being the ONLY one to get to light a menorah this year, although on Wednesday she was permitted. She stayed coherent through the whole argument, though, which is a big step for her. And Penguin stayed calm and was so sweet about the whole thing. Thursday and Friday Penguin lit her own, smaller menorah. At 12, it's still fun. I'm not sure how important it will be to her at 13.
I'm still struggling with no appetite. A little worried that I'm going to lose weight at this rate, so I try to choke down some peanut butter and chocolate when I realize it's been awhile. My body doesn't object too much as long as I don't eat much at a time, and it's more calorie dense than broth, or rice, or baked fruit.
The kids are filled with the holiday spirit. As am I. Although waves of nausea and persistent debilitating cramping make it difficult to anticipate the 'togetherness' aspect.
Maybe it's selfish of me, but I want to spend time with people I love not thinking about my stomach. At this point, being sick over the holidays seems like a tradition itself. But so is HOPE. Hope that things will improve. Hope that we're going up an easy slope, and the end is just in sight. Hope that recovery is waiting in the new year.
Today, I had high hopes for the weekend. There were several places on the agenda...a promise to take one child to the mall, another to a local park, and a small exhibit I didn't want to miss. Both evenings are booked for spending time with loved ones.
As you might deduce from the fact that I'm typing rather than playing, this morning has me curled up with a heating pad. The kids are cheerful enough, they showered me with hugs and kisses. They told me to sleep. And I'm listening to them playing happily in the living room.
While I absolutely HATE that I'm in here rather than out there (or even better, in the car listening to them in the backseat) I love that they are so understanding, so flexible. And I'm grateful for the chance to parent them.