Over the past several years we've come to just assume what I 'can't' do. It's obvious that my stamina remains low, although it has improved. My poor husband vacillates between assuming I have energy well beyond my ability, or that I am practically an invalid, completely incapacitated. Neither, of course, is true.
But today, we went for a walk. In fact, the kids and I traveled all the way to the local park. Without a car. This doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment, as the local park is just within a mile of our house. But, as I walked past the parking lot towards the playground I let my mind wander back over the past several years. Back to when my oldest was just about 7 or 8 years old, and my youngest was 3 or 4. When my diagnosis began, and my recovery was just beginning. We'd spend a lot of time at parks back then.
Unfortunately, this specific park was never one of my favorites. I had to laugh when I remember why. I'd pull into the parking lot and the playground itself felt like it was an insurmountable distance away. And the restrooms were so far from the playground, that it seemed ridiculous to me. "Who would plan so poorly?" I'd grumble as I plodded back and forth with kids who just wanted to have fun.
Of course, today things were much different. Not only have the kids reached an age where they are able to moniter themselves for the time it takes me to use the restroom, the playground doesn't seem nearly so far from the parking lot. Or the restroom. In fact, the park itself "feels" walking distance from my house.
Even just 2 years ago that wasn't the case. I know this is the result of improved muscle tone, the ability to actually digest some of the food that I consume, and I'm certain that my weight (still a steady 112! I've been over a hundred pounds for a year!) has something to do with it. But it still feels great to put things in perspective.
Some days, I'm tired, overwhelmed and depressed. This condition, trying to learn to manage corn allergies and celiac disease and everything else while raising a family has limited my life in many ways. Money being, of course, the biggest concern. When things get hard, I forget to look at the light. How far I've come towards the end of the tunnel. How much I've put behind me.
How much we've all lived through and survived. But we have survived. We've thrived. And hopefully, we're all a little bit healthier for it.