They say that life never hands you more than you can handle. But some days, it feels like someone's miscalculating. Between the hit from the economy and the healthcare crunch, the dietary demands and the increased cost of gas...And the special issues that come with raising a quirky kid; especially after years of detrimental 'therapy'; it's really hard sometimes.
That's when my faith is strongest. Because frankly, I can't do it alone.
But this wasn't going to be a religious post. What I wanted to say, was that after all those years of doctors' stroking their chins and shrugging their shoulders and suggesting that 'Maybe it's just stress...' I'm sitting here under more stress than I feel like I can handle alone.
And guess what? I don't feel like I'm dying. My stomach isn't objecting to the calories I provide it with (whether or not those calories are nourishing.) I'm not huddled up with a heating pad. I'm still functioning. I've been living a life as a security blanket, making ever increasing to do lists in my brain, and I'm still walking. I'm sitting in meetings. I'm interacting with other people, and the only possible reason that I feel like I'm exploding are the need to be two places at once and the strong, desperate desire to be at home catching up on the things that desperately need catching up on. Things that can't be done in the 15 minutes here and there that I get to myself these days.
Even feeling torn in two, struggling to make ends meet while we struggle to find the right solution for those of us still struggling...I feel healthy. And I wouldn't trade THAT for a box of pizza or an empty sink.