Saturday, November 11, 2017

Depression lies.
It whispers insidious lies in your ear, tries to plant them in our heart.  It takes a grain of truth and fabricates a dark and dreary shadowland, trying to convince you that this darkness is reality.  It's constant drone essentially gaslights you into believing the lies.
So that when you do reach out, and ask for help, Others, the ones you turn to for a lifeline, withdraw.  Their reality is so different from your own that they don't know how to react and offer a platitude in response like "Oh, it's not that bad" when you can plainly see that the world is ending.

Depression sucks.
It sucks the air from your lungs, the joy from your heart, the color from your world.  It drains your energy, your dreams, and your hope.  It uses the aforementioned lies to coerce and compel, keeping you isolated from the rest of the world whether physically or emotionally.  Because who wants to risk subjecting others to this?

Depression lies...again.
It simply lies there, blanketing your heart, somehow secretly growing to shadow more of your life until you can't find where it started or where the exit might be.  And as it lies there lying to you, telling you that there is nothing but sadness and sorrow and there never has been anything but depression, it's hard to overcome.

Depression isn't just a disease that can be cured by popping a few pills or even just a better diet and exercise.  It's an insidious shadow that infiltrates your life and your home, tainting everyone you meet.

The worst part?
Depression is contagious.  If you care for someone who suffers from depression for long enough, their worldview colors (or rather, uncolors) part of your own.  You see shadows where there once was color, you feel dread where once there was joy, and sadness seems to permeate every corner of the room.
And it's not something people understand.  I repeatedly hear people remark that their therapist doesn't get it.
The person they pay hard earned money to (very hard earned if they are struggling to hold a job due to the tenacious grip of this condition), the person who is trained and certificated specifically to help people who are struggling heal...Doesn't Get It.

They just don't get it less than the rest of the world doesn't get it.  Or they're trained, and the world says they are supposed to help so the patient keeps going, assuming that the problem is them and not the help they've found.

Depression is lonely.  It's hard for anyone who suffers, and it's hard for those around them.  Because how do you live in a reality that isn't your own?  But how can you leave someone you love to brave it alone? 

1 comment:

Evelyn Chua said...

Hugs to you! Stay strong.