Stress + Stress

About 18 months ago, July of 2009, I posted about the family stomach bug.  The one that the kids seemed to eventually recover from, but I just never really did.  Well, eventually I figured I was probably close to normal.  What is normal, anyways?  Other than an absence of being 'worse than usual'.
It turns out that somewhere between then and now, I developed a bacteria known as H Pylori.  Ironically, this bacteria was originally called "stress" and is the number one cause of ulcers.
Diagnosis was really easy.  Luckily, my dr did think to run the blood test and it was positive.
The next step should be relatively straightforward.  A triple whammy attack of 2 antibiotics and a proton pump inhibitor.
Of course...I had 2 questions.  What's the PPI for?  And "Is there corn in that?"
The answers were not so straight forward.  I'm uncomfortable that the answer to "What's the PPI for?" was 'That's the standard treatment, we find it works.'
I know it's just me.  But I like to know WHY.  And the answer of "You just don't understand" gets under my skin.  Of course I don't understand!  Why else would I ask?
And then it comes to corn.  The list is quite long.
It encompasses a large number of potential names.  I don't react to the protein.  I don't know why.  I'm not willing to study it too much further...not on myself.  Not after dealing with it and learning more, and accepting what I've learned over a full 7 years.
7 years.
It's a long time.  It's been a long process.  You'd think after so many years I'd understand what was going on.  I'd be able to navigate any system.
But I didn't count on a system that doesn't recognize or respect the acknowledgment of prior doctors, of unusual situations.  I spent 4 days visiting with the pharmacy.
I was reassured.  Placated.  Confidently soothed.  But I didn't feel validated or respected.
That's scary, and it makes me feel rebellious. 
But the bottom line was that the ER was accessible.  If I end up there they can do something.
There's nothing else they could offer.  The dr says to talk to the pharmacist, the pharmacist says the doctor makes the call.  They called the manufacturers and asked if corn was used in the process.  They couldn't tell me if they ascertained "any corn derivatives" or if they specified starch as well as protein.  The stress of going to the pharmacy on a daily basis for less than 10 minutes with the pharmacist before they walked away was getting to me.
The end result is that the decision was up to me.  I could trust them, and take medication that may or may not help.  And was likely to make me nauseous and crampy by it's very nature.  Or, I could not take it.
H Pylori is common.  It doesn't always cause symptoms.
But I'm symptomatic and I'm getting depressed.  (from the symptoms...seriously?  If you lived on rice because your stomach was volatile, you'd probably get depressed, too.)   So, I took the meds.   At least, I took them until I gagged on them, and couldn't keep them down.
Then I stopped taking the one I was most suspicious of (omeprazol, the PPI) and continued...much more successfully...with the antibiotics.  I figured that vomiting undigested meds wasn't helping me any.  So taking the antibiotics alone was better than nothing.
My colon still feels like it's been beaten to a pulp.  Mostly because of the charlie-horses that set in not long after the meds took effect.  Typical corn response, for me.  I'm still having occasional tightness of breath, but that was one my complaints before...so who knows if it's corn related?  I have chills, but it's pretty cold.  Still struggling with nausea and lack of appetite.  The itchiness has finally subsided.  (Mostly.)  I don't seem to have actually hived out.  I've slept 16 hours a day (at least) for the past 2 weeks and I'm still tired. 
But I'm thankful that the antibiotics are over, and I'm crossing my fingers that once the corny reaction finishes working it's way through, maybe I'll be able to enjoy the holidays.
It seems like I've missed spending time with family and friends a lot the past few years.  

A Down Day

5 years ago, I thought that going gluten free and corn free and having that "Celiac Diagnosis" (even if it was by duck theory) would be the end of stomach issues, and dropped balls, and letting the kids down. 
I thought it would fix everything.  I had names, labels...even when I hit a plateau I knew it was so much better than it had been and hoped that eventually, I'd find the slope and get climbing upwards again. 

I'm starting to think I was wrong.  These really are just pieces in the puzzle of my life.  They help, but they don't cure.  There's something, some vital piece still missing. 
Last week I was quickly diagnosed with H Pylori, which might help to explain the slow backslide of the past year.  The treatment is almost as bad as the disease, but I'm hoping after the ten days of antibiotics are over I'll maybe finally snap back to radiant health.  Or, maybe just feel like spending an entire afternoon at the zoo. 
The worst part isn't the nausea, or the cramping and fatigue that's just enough to keep me near bed.  It's my daughter asking if I'm sick, and wanting to stay home "to take care of you!"  It's dropping her off at girl scouts, and apologizing because I really can't stay (Er, but I'm going to run in and use the restroom real quick...)  It's my oldest asking if I'm going to die.  (NO!  It's not the least bit serious, it just makes me need to rest.  It just upsets my tummy.  You can help by getting along with your sister.)  It's trying to face dinnertime with a smile, because they need real food and they need to feel good about real food.  And it's laying in bed, thinking about the dishes I don't feel up to scrubbing, the floor I want to vacuum, the counters that need to be washed down. 
Sometimes I just want to be unreasonable, and throw a fit...insist that they find what's "wrong" and "fix" it.  I've come close to screaming in frustration.  I know, I need to be patient and let each step bring me closer to healing.  But I'm not sure rationalizing it makes the process any easier. 

It's NOT just in your head...

For years doctors have claimed that the vast majority of gut complaints are the direct result of emotional stability. Stress. Anxiety. Control issues.

Elaine Gottschal watched a diet prescribed by Dr. Haas heal her daughter. She went on to write a book, now published as "Breaking the Viscious Cycle," which embraced the theory that gut bacteria were intrinsically linked to whole health. Especially gastrointestinal health.

Elaine went on to explain that the bad bugs crave sugar...in essence causing the human host to crave sugar. (Try and explain this to the typical MD, and he'll try very hard not to laugh directly at you.) She also explained how obesity can be caused by starvation...the bad bugs "stealing" all those yummy carbs and sugars.

After only 60 years or so, medical science has begun to wake up and agree. Those carb cravings may not be just in our heads (and tastebuds). Neither are they a product of our genes. Nope, studies have proven that people who eat chocolate have different intestinal bacteria than people who do not eat chocolate, leading to a difference in various metabolic byproducts in the blood and urine of test subjects.

Studies have also proven that intestinal flora changes after a change in weight.

Scientists feel this is exciting because if we can find ways to manipulate the bacteria, we can nudge it in the right direction for people trying to meet specific goals.

I wonder what far reaching research could lead to? They're already experimenting with certain parasites to treat Crohns disease, acknowledging that probiotics are vital for intestinal health, and begrudgingly admitting that natural vitamins might serve humans better than synthetic ones. What can gut bacteria teach us about allergies and autoimmune disorders?

What else is "all in our head", but really tied to the gut?